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February 2007
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Too
Close For Comfort
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 With
Valentine’s Day approaching, I had the fortune of being
interviewed by Joyce Rosenberg of Associated Press in NYC on
the topic of dating in the workplace. The fun part of these
interviews is knowing that your “words of wisdom”
will be shared in hundreds of on-line and print newspapers across
the country.
To read the complete article
click HERE:
Of course, our discussion
on the topic went far beyond the few sound bites in the article.
For many of us, these sound bites ring very true and we have
tales to tell of how workplace romance has impacted our workplaces.
First, let me clearly state my disclaimer – I met my husband
at work. Since that occurred nearly 30 years ago, and we’re
still telling the tale, I understand the issue from its many
varied sides: as an employee, as an internal HR manager and
as a consultant.
The reality is that people meet at work and start relationships.
According to Career Journal, 40% of employees have been in workplace
romances. So, employers prohibiting dating will have a rough
time enforcing their policies. The key for management is to
understand what issues arise from workplace relationships and
how to ensure that professionalism is maintained before, during
and after.
I’ve assisted clients where an employee couldn’t take
“no” for an answer and repeatedly asked a coworker
out, sent her emails, hung out at her desk. Even though rejection
is tough to take, this employee crossed the line and shifted
from infatuation to harassment.
I’ve had clients where employees and bosses were in relationships,
where dating couples brought their personal lives into work
and everyone got sucked into the soap-opera of their relationship,
where romances were too visible and where break-ups destroyed
the team.
Copyright (c)
2007 Arlene Vernon, HRx, Inc.
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The
Heart of the Matter.....
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…is what you as
an employer/manager do when you see a workplace relationship
affecting your workplace.
If two individuals are in a reporting relationship, there
is a 100% chance that this relationship is having an adverse
impact. Even in family businesses led by a husband and wife,
there are ramifications to these relationships. So, while
I won’t suggest in this latter case that one employee
leave the workplace, it is still important to create clear
boundaries between what occurs at home and what occurs at
work. Otherwise you are creating unnecessary stress on your
employees.
When there’s a personal relationship compounded by a
reporting relationship, coworkers usually feel stress, are
tense about communications, and frequently feel that favoritism
exists. I typically recommend that one of the two in a reporting
relationship be removed from the situation, and sometimes
this unfortunately results in one individual leaving the company.
Certainly, if you know of a romantic relationship before you
move employees into this situation, don’t believe them
when they claim it won’t affect anything. They may have
good intentions, and it may even work for them, but it typically
doesn’t work for others.
If two employees are in a relationship and they work in different
departments or rarely encounter each other at work, there
may be no issues at all. In this case, do nothing. There’s
no sense to getting involved until you have to. If you have
other concerns with these employees’ performance, then
you may want to provide them an overview of what you consider
appropriate and inappropriate behavior.
Of course, if you get any inkling that employees are uncomfortable
with how a workplace romance is affecting them, you must take
swift action. The last thing you want is for a preventable
situation to turn into a harassment claim. You need to be
explicitly clear in communicating what is and isn’t appropriate
in your workplace, the impact that it’s having on morale,
productivity, communication, etc. While many managers tend
to tread lightly when confronting employees, this is not the
time to hint at appropriate behavior. You need to take a direct,
timely approach.
Or if you want assistance from an impartial third party, you
can always call me.
Copyright (c) 2007 Arlene
Vernon, HRx, Inc.
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| About
Arlene Vernon |
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Arlene Vernon,
PHR, partners with small businesses as their Human Resource Xpert
to create their HR systems and solve their HR problems.
If you have gaps in your HR operation, have an employee problem
to solve, or want to enhance your managers' skills, call Arlene
today. Learn how HRx can save you time and help you avoid costly
HR mistakes. HRx, Inc., Eden Prairie, MN 55344, 952-996-0975,
www.HRxcellence.com.
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